I appreciate all types of people. Because I believe that God has created all different types of people that believe in different things. . .yadda yadda yadda , you get the point.
I also believe that God has blessed most of us with common sense as well as instincts. Why is it that some people choose to ignore these two life saving, stress reducing and practical tools that God has given us?
I can see if you had a messed up life, if you didn't have proper guidance growing up or there were some events that really screwed up your perception but what about if you have lived a normal happy life with a good family and support system, access to a good education etc.? Why do some ignore the reality of a situation and others embrace the realness of life?
I am not saying to not think outside the box and not to dream because these things are very important as well. We would be nothing as a people of it were not for imagination. However, I think that you should view life with more of a balance. With your head towards the sky but at least one foot on the ground becasue when you get down it we all exisit on the same place in the same world in some form of society. Live your dreams but realize that you must live in the real world as well. Not following? here are a few examples:
Girl been treated bad by boys. Girl meets new boy. This boy kinda unattractive but very nice so girl moves to new country and stays with boy. Girl realizes boy doesn't like to work so she must support boy. Time rough but boy convinces girl- over and over again- that this is right becasue its love. Girl grows deeper in debt and more lonely becasue she cannot bring herself to lose the security of not being "alone," and justifies that its okay becasue at least he does not cheat on her.
Boy meets girl. They move in fast. Claim love. Have baby even faster. She cuts him off from freinds and family. She drains boy of his fun, life and money. But its all good cuz "thats what marriage is. You gotta make sacrifices."
Boy been living off girl for a long time. Girl finally gets fed up kicks boy out and he has to go live somewhere else. Instead of going to parents house chooses to crash on couches and be homeless. Will prove to the world that she didn't understand him and that he is the victim.
What is wrong with these pictures?!?! People allow themselves to lose their way becasue they give way to their own insecurities, laziness and ego. Shit happens. Face the world, work with your reality, and keep it moving!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Pretty on Steroids
We see them all around, usually when we are in our 20's , up in the club, on videos or things like that. Sometimes thought we meet them in real life. I am talking about women who are pretty, and i mean unquestionably pretty, and they have their hair done, tips on their nails, boobs pushed up, tight dress hugging the curves, colored contacts, and perhaps even injections and implants here and there- depends on the woman. I see these woman and of course I think- wow they are pretty, but i can't help but wonder what they would look like if they took off the fake nails,didn't wear the lashes, etc. Most times I come to the conclusion that this woman would still be pretty without all that stuff. So why the need for all the extra fluff? Its like overkill and leaves me thinking "do you ever take a day off?"
When women take "pretty" to this extreme I call it pretty on steroids. ALL of their natural beauty is enhanced but in a very obvious way. I am all for enhncement of what you already have. I wear makeup everyday- but you can't tell. I work out and eat well- but i don't deprive myself. I do my hair, but don't feel the need for extensions and frequent visits to the salon to keep up with all the other women out there. I have small lips but will not go so far as lip injections. Usually when you get work done thats exaclty what your face looks like- that you have had work done. What it comes down to is that if you feel the need to do all that extra crap to your appearance it doesn't matter if the rest of the world sees you as pretty or not becasue you obviously do not see yourself that way. If you find yourself spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars each month just to "look good," you need to reevaluate why you want to change all these things about yourself. All the the botox, push up and skin tight clothes in the world is not a substitute for real confidence or real self esteem.
When women take "pretty" to this extreme I call it pretty on steroids. ALL of their natural beauty is enhanced but in a very obvious way. I am all for enhncement of what you already have. I wear makeup everyday- but you can't tell. I work out and eat well- but i don't deprive myself. I do my hair, but don't feel the need for extensions and frequent visits to the salon to keep up with all the other women out there. I have small lips but will not go so far as lip injections. Usually when you get work done thats exaclty what your face looks like- that you have had work done. What it comes down to is that if you feel the need to do all that extra crap to your appearance it doesn't matter if the rest of the world sees you as pretty or not becasue you obviously do not see yourself that way. If you find yourself spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars each month just to "look good," you need to reevaluate why you want to change all these things about yourself. All the the botox, push up and skin tight clothes in the world is not a substitute for real confidence or real self esteem.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Return of Saturn
This has been a reoccurring theme as of late because I am I fact turning 30 this year and also getting married. The return of Saturn is defined as “an astrological phenomenon that occurs at the ages of 27-30, 58-60, and finally from 86-88, coinciding with the time it takes the planet Saturn to make one orbit around the sun. It is believed by astrologers that as Saturn "returns" to the degree in which it occupied at the time of birth -- approximately every 29.5 years -- a person crosses over a major threshold and into the next stage of life.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_return.
Take heed of this information. I realize that not everyone believes in astrology but I however do not believe in coincidences. There is to much relevancy to this asrtological phenomenon. The problem is that some people still tend to be so conveluded in their judgement and self realization that they still think they are doing the right thing. If you are worse off today then you were at the beginning of your 29 year point then you have not clearly assessed your life. Just because you may have changed one thing- job or location or something like that, have you really changed your bad habits? You know, those things we do that lead us to the same frustration and misery. Are you still letting others (men/women) manipulate you? Are you still trying to fix damaged people? Are still going against your better judgement just to not make others upset? These are the structures your life has been built upon so far and if these strucutres are unsound and not leading you to a place of joy and fullfillment then you are doing something wrong! I have said it a million times before but you are the one who makes or breaks your life. You for the most part can control your own happiness. The hard part is realizing that your operating system, which you are so comfortable with, may need to be changed. But once you realize it and jump in with both feet the rewards are much greater. You no longer have to make excuses for your behavior or that of others. Isn’t that liberating?
Take heed of this information. I realize that not everyone believes in astrology but I however do not believe in coincidences. There is to much relevancy to this asrtological phenomenon. The problem is that some people still tend to be so conveluded in their judgement and self realization that they still think they are doing the right thing. If you are worse off today then you were at the beginning of your 29 year point then you have not clearly assessed your life. Just because you may have changed one thing- job or location or something like that, have you really changed your bad habits? You know, those things we do that lead us to the same frustration and misery. Are you still letting others (men/women) manipulate you? Are you still trying to fix damaged people? Are still going against your better judgement just to not make others upset? These are the structures your life has been built upon so far and if these strucutres are unsound and not leading you to a place of joy and fullfillment then you are doing something wrong! I have said it a million times before but you are the one who makes or breaks your life. You for the most part can control your own happiness. The hard part is realizing that your operating system, which you are so comfortable with, may need to be changed. But once you realize it and jump in with both feet the rewards are much greater. You no longer have to make excuses for your behavior or that of others. Isn’t that liberating?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
If I Wanted To
As I peruse the newest obsession maker, facebook, I come across an old coworkers profile. A friend of mine for a spell for sure. In case you are not familiar with the facebook process, it feels the need to update everyone on your friends list of everything you have done up to the last minute. If you took a sh@$, threw a snowball, listened to music. Everything. One of these updates includes pictures.
So she has updated her pics and posted many photos of her at the school we used to work at together. It made me miss the school slightly. It was very neat, organized and what not, but i definitely would never want to work there again. You see, they are in fact, kind of an undercover Scientology school and I am not kidding when I tell you they tried to brainwash me.
So I am looking at all the pics and all I can think to myself is "(Enter school name here) for life man!!!" These people suck you in and trust me when I tell you that they do not let go easily. I didn't' know if it's because they feel like failures inside when they can't get someone to commit or if it is because they are afraid of being exposed. At any rate it made me think of what my life would have been like had i not "defected" from the "group."
If I wanted to be POOR and get the equivalent of dirt in an envelope once a month I could have stayed there. If i wanted to work with a 104 fever and have no health insurance and no one to cover my class while i was dying, I could have stayed there. If I wanted to be berated ("slut, whore etc!") during "drills" that were designed to make me desensitized to the distractions and annoyances, so that i can "confront" anything head on, I could have stayed there.
If I wanted to be told how to dress, inside and outside of school, how and what to talk about with others in the "group," and have every conversation on the school phone listened in on, I would have stayed there.
In essence, even if i wanted to go back to the school to see the progress of the amazing students there, the innocent brilliant lives that they, in my opnion, isolate and manipulate, I couldn't because it is not a free zone for me. I am sure they have me on some kind of list as a "suppressive person" (these lists really do exist).
What is funny is that the year after I left my class's new teacher contacted me and asked me how to get the kids to stop talking about me. "Well Ms. V didn't do it that way- or Lets play the game from Ms. V's class, or lets dance instead of gym!" She asked if it was okay for me to write them a goodbye note and for them to send me one as well. I had no problem with that. That was the least I could do for them if it was hard for them to let go. Those kids will forever remain in my heart and to tell you the truth if the school administrators weren't so obsessed into turning me into one of them I would have stayed longer.
In the end I made the best decision for me, and thats all anyone can do. I miss the school grounds, the kids and the families but in truth my time in that city was up anyway.
And at least I know now why Tom Cruise is so weird.
So she has updated her pics and posted many photos of her at the school we used to work at together. It made me miss the school slightly. It was very neat, organized and what not, but i definitely would never want to work there again. You see, they are in fact, kind of an undercover Scientology school and I am not kidding when I tell you they tried to brainwash me.
So I am looking at all the pics and all I can think to myself is "(Enter school name here) for life man!!!" These people suck you in and trust me when I tell you that they do not let go easily. I didn't' know if it's because they feel like failures inside when they can't get someone to commit or if it is because they are afraid of being exposed. At any rate it made me think of what my life would have been like had i not "defected" from the "group."
If I wanted to be POOR and get the equivalent of dirt in an envelope once a month I could have stayed there. If i wanted to work with a 104 fever and have no health insurance and no one to cover my class while i was dying, I could have stayed there. If I wanted to be berated ("slut, whore etc!") during "drills" that were designed to make me desensitized to the distractions and annoyances, so that i can "confront" anything head on, I could have stayed there.
If I wanted to be told how to dress, inside and outside of school, how and what to talk about with others in the "group," and have every conversation on the school phone listened in on, I would have stayed there.
In essence, even if i wanted to go back to the school to see the progress of the amazing students there, the innocent brilliant lives that they, in my opnion, isolate and manipulate, I couldn't because it is not a free zone for me. I am sure they have me on some kind of list as a "suppressive person" (these lists really do exist).
What is funny is that the year after I left my class's new teacher contacted me and asked me how to get the kids to stop talking about me. "Well Ms. V didn't do it that way- or Lets play the game from Ms. V's class, or lets dance instead of gym!" She asked if it was okay for me to write them a goodbye note and for them to send me one as well. I had no problem with that. That was the least I could do for them if it was hard for them to let go. Those kids will forever remain in my heart and to tell you the truth if the school administrators weren't so obsessed into turning me into one of them I would have stayed longer.
In the end I made the best decision for me, and thats all anyone can do. I miss the school grounds, the kids and the families but in truth my time in that city was up anyway.
And at least I know now why Tom Cruise is so weird.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I'm Over It
One of the things i love to do most in NYC is people watch. That's part of the reason I don't mind taking the train all the time and walking from school to school for my job. I think that there is no other place in the world like NYC and one of my favorite things i love about his place is the fashion forwardness if you will. That being said, i need to address some thing I have been noticing and trends that are in my opinion - defunct.
Uggs- The boot Uggs. The camel ones. Sooooooo over it. Wake up people, you just spent 130 on a pair of fuzzy lined boots that you can't even wear when it snows. Everyone and their mother has them and they are PLAYED OUT. Put them away. Give them away, throw them away. I don't care what you do with them really but they were not very cute when they first came out and they still aren't. They are reminiscent of camel feet, which leads people to think of camel toe, and ladies- you don't want to be associated with that!
The Faux Hawk hair bump thing- If they start making infomercials on how you can create it " fast and easy, and you get two more free if you order now!" using some plastic thing, the trend is over. First of all this hairstyle is not for everyone, lets be real. if you have a five head, or long face, its gonna be a no on the faux hawk bump. Yes I have been guilty of rocking it once or twice but it was because i was in a bind and i was growing out my blunt cut bangs. . .which by the way are on their way out too. . .Tyra wore those things to death. . .Anyway, as a general principle if everyone is doing/wearing it, it gets old fast. I am so disappointed- this is NY, where is the creativity? I am ready for something new!
Ballet flats. Over 'em. Personally they kill my feet because of the lack of support and again everyone has them. They are only good for work. There are much cuter flat shoes coming out that aren't quite "ballet" style and you best believe I am going to snatch up the pair I saw last night on my way home as soon as I get my spring/summer money together.
That's all for now!
xoxo
GG
Uggs- The boot Uggs. The camel ones. Sooooooo over it. Wake up people, you just spent 130 on a pair of fuzzy lined boots that you can't even wear when it snows. Everyone and their mother has them and they are PLAYED OUT. Put them away. Give them away, throw them away. I don't care what you do with them really but they were not very cute when they first came out and they still aren't. They are reminiscent of camel feet, which leads people to think of camel toe, and ladies- you don't want to be associated with that!
The Faux Hawk hair bump thing- If they start making infomercials on how you can create it " fast and easy, and you get two more free if you order now!" using some plastic thing, the trend is over. First of all this hairstyle is not for everyone, lets be real. if you have a five head, or long face, its gonna be a no on the faux hawk bump. Yes I have been guilty of rocking it once or twice but it was because i was in a bind and i was growing out my blunt cut bangs. . .which by the way are on their way out too. . .Tyra wore those things to death. . .Anyway, as a general principle if everyone is doing/wearing it, it gets old fast. I am so disappointed- this is NY, where is the creativity? I am ready for something new!
Ballet flats. Over 'em. Personally they kill my feet because of the lack of support and again everyone has them. They are only good for work. There are much cuter flat shoes coming out that aren't quite "ballet" style and you best believe I am going to snatch up the pair I saw last night on my way home as soon as I get my spring/summer money together.
That's all for now!
xoxo
GG
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Liar Liar
If you have to spin a story so that you don't look like an asshole, then you're a liar. If you have to embellish parts or leave them out to save face, you're a liar. If you tell one person one thing and another person a different version of that, then you're a liar.
If you have to lie about anything then there is something wrong. What is it you are not proud of? What are you holding back? The fact that other people will think of you a certain way? Well believe me that if you have a lying personality then people already know you are full of shit, especially if they have been around you enough. When you notice that people around you are listening to your crap and just nodding their head and smiling, the jig is up. You have put yourself into the place that only liars know. Its a lonely place and the only way to get out is to come clean with yourself. The only problem is that you are so used to lying to everyone, including yourself that this is now your reality. You have begun to believe the crap that you spew to everyone, so what do you do? You go and find "new" friends that don't realize you are a liar yet, but inevitably you will be found out yet perpetuating the cycle. Good luck with that.
Being honest is not always easy but take it from me, it sure feels good. To be honest with yourself and others is a way to destress the bad energy that others try and put on to you. I am not saying you have to yell in their face about what a liar they are (for instance), but you can just say "whatever. I will believe what you are saying when I see a change in your actions." That's all. Usually these people will find the newbie friends that i mentioned before but when your at that point, who cares anyway.
If you have to lie about anything then there is something wrong. What is it you are not proud of? What are you holding back? The fact that other people will think of you a certain way? Well believe me that if you have a lying personality then people already know you are full of shit, especially if they have been around you enough. When you notice that people around you are listening to your crap and just nodding their head and smiling, the jig is up. You have put yourself into the place that only liars know. Its a lonely place and the only way to get out is to come clean with yourself. The only problem is that you are so used to lying to everyone, including yourself that this is now your reality. You have begun to believe the crap that you spew to everyone, so what do you do? You go and find "new" friends that don't realize you are a liar yet, but inevitably you will be found out yet perpetuating the cycle. Good luck with that.
Being honest is not always easy but take it from me, it sure feels good. To be honest with yourself and others is a way to destress the bad energy that others try and put on to you. I am not saying you have to yell in their face about what a liar they are (for instance), but you can just say "whatever. I will believe what you are saying when I see a change in your actions." That's all. Usually these people will find the newbie friends that i mentioned before but when your at that point, who cares anyway.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sister Sister
I know that Sex and The City gets a lot of slack but there are plenty of reasons- small and big (no pun intended) to love it. I was just watching the episode where Carrie’s computer crashes and Miranda’s mom dies after a heart attack. In the hospital Miranda sister walks by and tells her not to use her cell phone. Who new that Miranda had a sister? I never realized until today. And then I thought – she has a sister but Carrie and the girls are like her REAL sisters. And then I thought- damn can women have relationships like that with each other- I mean for real?
The answer I believe is yes. Absolutely. But I don’t think you get four of those friends in your life. At least not all at one time. I have many friends but very few sisters. And they way it happens on the show- the women all knowing each other and being friends like that is definitely not the case in real life. Carrie was ready to jump on a train and be by Miranda’s side in the hospital. You are lucky if you get one friend who just has your back like that. Anyway the point is not the amount you have or if they all are friends with each other, the point is to recognize when you have sisters- and I mean real sisters. Not call you once every 6 month sisters, or call when shit is just hunky dory and then when they got man trouble they call, or we just get together for major events sisters. I mean the ones that call you just to tell you the dumb shit they saw on the street or TV. The ones that are straight up with you and don’t avoid bochinche (juicy gossip)- cuz shit, what the hell are your sisters for if you can’t TALK to them. These are people you feel 100% comfortable with and your heart would break into a million pieces if they were gone from your life. THOSE are your real people.
The answer I believe is yes. Absolutely. But I don’t think you get four of those friends in your life. At least not all at one time. I have many friends but very few sisters. And they way it happens on the show- the women all knowing each other and being friends like that is definitely not the case in real life. Carrie was ready to jump on a train and be by Miranda’s side in the hospital. You are lucky if you get one friend who just has your back like that. Anyway the point is not the amount you have or if they all are friends with each other, the point is to recognize when you have sisters- and I mean real sisters. Not call you once every 6 month sisters, or call when shit is just hunky dory and then when they got man trouble they call, or we just get together for major events sisters. I mean the ones that call you just to tell you the dumb shit they saw on the street or TV. The ones that are straight up with you and don’t avoid bochinche (juicy gossip)- cuz shit, what the hell are your sisters for if you can’t TALK to them. These are people you feel 100% comfortable with and your heart would break into a million pieces if they were gone from your life. THOSE are your real people.
Not everyone can be your bestest friend in the whole world, that’s just the way life is and that’s why the sister friends are so special. All I know is I appreciate my sisters!! Now go call your best friend sister person and go gossip about something .
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I Don't
Carrie said that she didn’t have the wedding gene. Is it really natural for a woman to want all those bells and whistles for their wedding day? The white dress, bridesmaids, expensive plates and centerpieces. Is all of that really necessary? Or is it possible that the majority of woman have been brainwashed into thinking this is their fairy tale day of the princess marrying her prince. And on the flip side, are there a small population of women who simply don’t believe in all of that and believe that marriage- and the ceremony that comes with it means something completely different?
When the movie happened, Carrie got carried away (no pun intended) once all of these things were presented to her. Her wedding went from 75 to 200 and her friends began to question this “no wedding gene” she once proposed she had. I do think it is easy to get carried away with all of that, if money is no object of course but there are plenty of women out there that are more than willing to fork over 10,000 plus dollars for a wedding. What is even more outrageous to me is that some bridezillas expect their wedding party to pay hundreds of dollars for a dress, take days off of work to celebrate, pay for them (and sometimes travel) for a bachelorette party, and buy the couple a gift for the wedding and no one can say shit. Isn’t the bridal party, like, your best friends??? Why would you do that to your best friends?!? Then the wedding is a party where you invite your “friends” and family, seat them strategically and they get wasted. The reason why I say “friends” is because people’s guest lists never cease to amaze me, inviting their latest BFF from work and then a hundred other people from the woodworks of back in the day that you don’t even speak to anymore. Then the people that don’t make the list are slighted and then the bride/groom get slighted when other people don’t show up or can’t travel, afford or whatever that case may be, to go to this extravaganza of a wedding.
Then the bride is waited on hand and foot because “this is her day.” Give me a damn break. If you want everyone to kiss your ass while you plan a wedding and get married then hire people to do that. Don’t make your friends pay and then have to serve you also. As you can see I am not a fan of this big show of marriage. The party is ultimately for other people, and very expensive. When I get married that last way I want to start my marriage is thousands of dollars in debt. Getting married is a very huge and very personal thing and on that day I would only want my closest family, on both sides to be there. We are marrying each other and uniting our families. I don’t believe couples have to spend thousands of dollars to show how much this means to them. I also believe that much of the planning causes disagreements, hurts friendships and is a complete distraction from the relationship. You are about to get married and instead of getting closer you just have this big stressy elephant in the room that must be addressed, “the wedding, the invitations, the place, the dress, the bridesmaids, the food, the list.” For what? How many of those attendees appreciate it?
Marriage is about you and that other person when it comes down to it. No one else. Perhaps if people put as much care and energy into their relationships as they do into a wedding more marriages would last longer and couples would be happier. Of course I am a firm believer in “to each his own,” so people can do whatever they want. All I know is that when I get married, the next day I will be on the beach and I will have a down payment on a home- not 25,000 in debt and a few toasters I don’t need.
When the movie happened, Carrie got carried away (no pun intended) once all of these things were presented to her. Her wedding went from 75 to 200 and her friends began to question this “no wedding gene” she once proposed she had. I do think it is easy to get carried away with all of that, if money is no object of course but there are plenty of women out there that are more than willing to fork over 10,000 plus dollars for a wedding. What is even more outrageous to me is that some bridezillas expect their wedding party to pay hundreds of dollars for a dress, take days off of work to celebrate, pay for them (and sometimes travel) for a bachelorette party, and buy the couple a gift for the wedding and no one can say shit. Isn’t the bridal party, like, your best friends??? Why would you do that to your best friends?!? Then the wedding is a party where you invite your “friends” and family, seat them strategically and they get wasted. The reason why I say “friends” is because people’s guest lists never cease to amaze me, inviting their latest BFF from work and then a hundred other people from the woodworks of back in the day that you don’t even speak to anymore. Then the people that don’t make the list are slighted and then the bride/groom get slighted when other people don’t show up or can’t travel, afford or whatever that case may be, to go to this extravaganza of a wedding.
Then the bride is waited on hand and foot because “this is her day.” Give me a damn break. If you want everyone to kiss your ass while you plan a wedding and get married then hire people to do that. Don’t make your friends pay and then have to serve you also. As you can see I am not a fan of this big show of marriage. The party is ultimately for other people, and very expensive. When I get married that last way I want to start my marriage is thousands of dollars in debt. Getting married is a very huge and very personal thing and on that day I would only want my closest family, on both sides to be there. We are marrying each other and uniting our families. I don’t believe couples have to spend thousands of dollars to show how much this means to them. I also believe that much of the planning causes disagreements, hurts friendships and is a complete distraction from the relationship. You are about to get married and instead of getting closer you just have this big stressy elephant in the room that must be addressed, “the wedding, the invitations, the place, the dress, the bridesmaids, the food, the list.” For what? How many of those attendees appreciate it?
Marriage is about you and that other person when it comes down to it. No one else. Perhaps if people put as much care and energy into their relationships as they do into a wedding more marriages would last longer and couples would be happier. Of course I am a firm believer in “to each his own,” so people can do whatever they want. All I know is that when I get married, the next day I will be on the beach and I will have a down payment on a home- not 25,000 in debt and a few toasters I don’t need.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Its Not You- Its Me
Some people are so sadly predictable. How many times have we all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results? If you find yourself in a similar situation yet again the common factor here is you, not all the other people.
Oftentimes we react to situations to that take us aback and we choose to react in a defensive manner to protect ourselves. However you must make it clear whether you are really protecting yourself or your ego. We must also decide which is more important. On the outside of course the answer is cut and dry. From the outside it easy to differentiate the two. But when you are in the situation and you are the person that feels slighted it is hard to let go of your egocentric perspective and really look at the situation at hand. If you’re lucky you may have an honest third party that can point out that you are back in your bubble and you should come outside to realize that you are yet again, victim of your own self-absorption. But then again being so self absorbed you may feel slighted, misunderstood and go right back into your bubble. Sigh, yet again perpetuating the cycle that put you there in the first place.
What I am trying to say is that when you find yourself slighted or disappointed by everyone you meet; dates, friends, strangers, the commonality of all those incidents is Y-O-U. If you want people to see your point of view (which is probably warped at this point- remember you like it better in your bubble), the only thing that can change that situation is you. Your perspective has a lot to do with how others will perceive you. If you stay locked away or snuff out any chance of real growth between you and others be aware of why you are doing that. Is it really that serious or is your ego that fragile? Something to think about if you're stuck in a bubble I guess.
Oftentimes we react to situations to that take us aback and we choose to react in a defensive manner to protect ourselves. However you must make it clear whether you are really protecting yourself or your ego. We must also decide which is more important. On the outside of course the answer is cut and dry. From the outside it easy to differentiate the two. But when you are in the situation and you are the person that feels slighted it is hard to let go of your egocentric perspective and really look at the situation at hand. If you’re lucky you may have an honest third party that can point out that you are back in your bubble and you should come outside to realize that you are yet again, victim of your own self-absorption. But then again being so self absorbed you may feel slighted, misunderstood and go right back into your bubble. Sigh, yet again perpetuating the cycle that put you there in the first place.
What I am trying to say is that when you find yourself slighted or disappointed by everyone you meet; dates, friends, strangers, the commonality of all those incidents is Y-O-U. If you want people to see your point of view (which is probably warped at this point- remember you like it better in your bubble), the only thing that can change that situation is you. Your perspective has a lot to do with how others will perceive you. If you stay locked away or snuff out any chance of real growth between you and others be aware of why you are doing that. Is it really that serious or is your ego that fragile? Something to think about if you're stuck in a bubble I guess.
This One is For the Ladies
Sometimes I am so amazed by women. We have been criticized by many for being emotional creatures that are in touch with our inner feelings and have been portrayed as weaker for expressing ourselves. I beg to differ. I feel that woman is the strongest creature out there. We are the most resilient, strong, amazing things God has probably ever created.
I look at the many women who are in and have touched my life and I admire them. Many of them have had to face some of the hardest blows life has to give, some of them purely unique to women. We carry babies, and give birth to the sometimes raise them by ourselves. If we are lucky we have other people to help us but some of us are not that fortunate. Unfortunately sometimes we carry babies and lose them. Sometimes before they come into this world and our incredible hopes are dashed or worse we give birth to them only to lose them soon after and not only are out hopes dashed but the heartbreak is immense and indescribable. But we come back. We come back because we have to. We are strong for our heartbroken family, our husbands and deal with horrible pains that hurt us forever.
We are usually the “bad guy” when it comes to raising our children- especially daughters, because we often see the world not just as it is but as it can be. We trust our instincts and our sides are often not heard because we already know that there will be resistance and as we get older we wisely pick and choose our battles.
Sometimes we are abused, sometimes we are cheated on, sometimes we are left completely alone in this world but with age we realize the importance of forgiveness and we cope with the cards life had dealt us and because we are in touch with our emotions we eventually figure ourselves out as well as others.
Women who have seen such extents of adversity are living proof that we are strong beings. There is a reason why many of these things don’t happen to men- because they can’t handle emotional stress the way we can. I happen to know some of the strongest women I will ever meet in my life and they help me realize how lucky I am and to never feel sorry for myself. I appreciate and try my best not to hate on any other lady because we are all connected. Once you strip down ego, jealousy, and any other selfish feeling we put in our way we have the capacity to support one another in a way that can’t be tested. We can have strong bond like that of a fraternity but ours is much deeper because it is based on emotion, as well as shared experiences, affection and empathy.
Big up to all my strong ladies out there. This world would be in shambles without us.
I look at the many women who are in and have touched my life and I admire them. Many of them have had to face some of the hardest blows life has to give, some of them purely unique to women. We carry babies, and give birth to the sometimes raise them by ourselves. If we are lucky we have other people to help us but some of us are not that fortunate. Unfortunately sometimes we carry babies and lose them. Sometimes before they come into this world and our incredible hopes are dashed or worse we give birth to them only to lose them soon after and not only are out hopes dashed but the heartbreak is immense and indescribable. But we come back. We come back because we have to. We are strong for our heartbroken family, our husbands and deal with horrible pains that hurt us forever.
We are usually the “bad guy” when it comes to raising our children- especially daughters, because we often see the world not just as it is but as it can be. We trust our instincts and our sides are often not heard because we already know that there will be resistance and as we get older we wisely pick and choose our battles.
Sometimes we are abused, sometimes we are cheated on, sometimes we are left completely alone in this world but with age we realize the importance of forgiveness and we cope with the cards life had dealt us and because we are in touch with our emotions we eventually figure ourselves out as well as others.
Women who have seen such extents of adversity are living proof that we are strong beings. There is a reason why many of these things don’t happen to men- because they can’t handle emotional stress the way we can. I happen to know some of the strongest women I will ever meet in my life and they help me realize how lucky I am and to never feel sorry for myself. I appreciate and try my best not to hate on any other lady because we are all connected. Once you strip down ego, jealousy, and any other selfish feeling we put in our way we have the capacity to support one another in a way that can’t be tested. We can have strong bond like that of a fraternity but ours is much deeper because it is based on emotion, as well as shared experiences, affection and empathy.
Big up to all my strong ladies out there. This world would be in shambles without us.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Three Sides
They say there are 3 sides to every story- his side, her side and the truth. I agree to an extent. My spin on it is I believe that there is his truth, her truth and the agreement if you decide to stop arguing about it.
It is important to be heard in a conflict. You cannot keep things in or else the relationship will explode or in some instances, dissolve. People are dynamic and complex and everything is not just his side her side and the truth. However the saying does hold a grain of truth and anyone involved in a conflict or situation relevant to this saying should keep something in mind.
People cannot read minds and no one will know your truth unless you speak it. You cannot expect people to just understand your side if you do not let them know where you stand. When you speak your truth it is your opportunity to be honest and more clearly understood. And remember that what you say must be truth, no sugar coating, and no excuses, just reality. Many times in stating our own truth we feel a weight has been lifted and we learn something about ourselves.
If you have mature individuals around you, getting the truth out will not be a difficult process because a mature person appreciates the value of honesty and objectivity, even though it may be difficult. If you love the person there is always a possibility of mending the rift. There is danger in keeping your truth to yourself. So remind yourself that being real with yourself and others is the only way to get things resolved.
It is important to be heard in a conflict. You cannot keep things in or else the relationship will explode or in some instances, dissolve. People are dynamic and complex and everything is not just his side her side and the truth. However the saying does hold a grain of truth and anyone involved in a conflict or situation relevant to this saying should keep something in mind.
People cannot read minds and no one will know your truth unless you speak it. You cannot expect people to just understand your side if you do not let them know where you stand. When you speak your truth it is your opportunity to be honest and more clearly understood. And remember that what you say must be truth, no sugar coating, and no excuses, just reality. Many times in stating our own truth we feel a weight has been lifted and we learn something about ourselves.
If you have mature individuals around you, getting the truth out will not be a difficult process because a mature person appreciates the value of honesty and objectivity, even though it may be difficult. If you love the person there is always a possibility of mending the rift. There is danger in keeping your truth to yourself. So remind yourself that being real with yourself and others is the only way to get things resolved.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A Personal Dilemma
I NEVER like to write so bluntly about people I know like this but this is an interesting one. Perhaps you all have a friend like this or can relate:
Ay, we always know how I write about delusional people but there is one person in particular here in my mind. She doesn’t read this and her life is basically one large pot smoking, coke snorting, blow job giving, whiskey drinking party so as you can see she is way too busy to read this.
I guess I shouldn’t put her on blast like that but it doesn’t matter at this point. We used to be very tight because I wanted to help her and I was kind of not loving myself either when we hung out hard core. But I soon became focused about my life and cleaned up my act. No more partying 8 nights a week, getting fucked up and all that jazz. It loses its luster very quickly if you ask me and as you get older your life is supposed to get better because you are supposed to be getting smarter. Needless to say we don’t see each other much because frankly I don’t like her lifestyle. She screws a new guy, or an old fuck (recycling) at least 2- 3 times a week. She gets fucked up nightly off of any drug available and thinks that as long as she’s got money from her waitress job (2 nights a week), which by the way she keeps with her or stashed in her place, cuz she refuses to get a bank account cuz she’s afraid of the IRS coming to get her for tax evasion . . .
Anyway our last conversation consisted of her going on for 45 minutes in detail about the last guy she had sex with. Yikes, way too much info. She compares herself to Sex and the City’s Samantha and I think Samantha was a hoe, there is no way she didn’t catch anything, I just find that really hard to believe. That bitch didn’t even catch a cold. So this friend wants to hang out now and I am afraid we have absolutely nothing to talk about. I think she is an addict, I think she is throwing her life away and I think her behavior screams how she does not love herself. “You should talk to her, let her know you want to help,” is what your probably saying to yourself. I have done that. I have done it so many times. She says, “Stop judging me. I’m doing all right. I can pay my rent.” Meanwhile she is paying rent on an apt filled with 4 other people because she cannot afford the last 2 bedroom apartment she just lived in because she got fired from her 15th job in 5 years. I am not exaggerating those numbers.
I do wish I could help her but she does not help herself. I feel like, since I have known her for so long that perhaps I should push her more to get help, or even give her an ultimatum. Get help or I’m outta here. I know that she leans on me because I am one of the few people in her life that have a good head on their shoulders. She has even told me “I love you, thank you for not giving up on me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.” But the truth is I want to give up. I guess I sound like an awful person for saying this but if something bad happens to her, it’s her fault. I want her to be all right but you can only live so carelessly for so long before it bites you in the ass.
Sigh. . . . . I guess we need to have one last conversation.
Ay, we always know how I write about delusional people but there is one person in particular here in my mind. She doesn’t read this and her life is basically one large pot smoking, coke snorting, blow job giving, whiskey drinking party so as you can see she is way too busy to read this.
I guess I shouldn’t put her on blast like that but it doesn’t matter at this point. We used to be very tight because I wanted to help her and I was kind of not loving myself either when we hung out hard core. But I soon became focused about my life and cleaned up my act. No more partying 8 nights a week, getting fucked up and all that jazz. It loses its luster very quickly if you ask me and as you get older your life is supposed to get better because you are supposed to be getting smarter. Needless to say we don’t see each other much because frankly I don’t like her lifestyle. She screws a new guy, or an old fuck (recycling) at least 2- 3 times a week. She gets fucked up nightly off of any drug available and thinks that as long as she’s got money from her waitress job (2 nights a week), which by the way she keeps with her or stashed in her place, cuz she refuses to get a bank account cuz she’s afraid of the IRS coming to get her for tax evasion . . .
Anyway our last conversation consisted of her going on for 45 minutes in detail about the last guy she had sex with. Yikes, way too much info. She compares herself to Sex and the City’s Samantha and I think Samantha was a hoe, there is no way she didn’t catch anything, I just find that really hard to believe. That bitch didn’t even catch a cold. So this friend wants to hang out now and I am afraid we have absolutely nothing to talk about. I think she is an addict, I think she is throwing her life away and I think her behavior screams how she does not love herself. “You should talk to her, let her know you want to help,” is what your probably saying to yourself. I have done that. I have done it so many times. She says, “Stop judging me. I’m doing all right. I can pay my rent.” Meanwhile she is paying rent on an apt filled with 4 other people because she cannot afford the last 2 bedroom apartment she just lived in because she got fired from her 15th job in 5 years. I am not exaggerating those numbers.
I do wish I could help her but she does not help herself. I feel like, since I have known her for so long that perhaps I should push her more to get help, or even give her an ultimatum. Get help or I’m outta here. I know that she leans on me because I am one of the few people in her life that have a good head on their shoulders. She has even told me “I love you, thank you for not giving up on me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.” But the truth is I want to give up. I guess I sound like an awful person for saying this but if something bad happens to her, it’s her fault. I want her to be all right but you can only live so carelessly for so long before it bites you in the ass.
Sigh. . . . . I guess we need to have one last conversation.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Simple Pleasures
I must share my latest purchase because it makes me so happy. I literally spent $3.00 on it and it is such a comfortable, practical, simple thing. It’s my new housedress,
Why is my fine young self wearing a housedress? Because its the most comfortable thing i own and from faraway it looks like a regular dress. I know that I am rather young to be sporting a housedress but this thing is a cool housedress. Its black, knee length, tighter on top them flares out. I know what you’re thinking- is she going out for cocktails? . .I guess I could be if the dress were not made of terrycloth. You know, like a towel. Yes, it’s cute, and made of a towel! So even if you are not totally dry after you’ve toweled off you have a dress, made of a towel, to help you out. And its black- so it more flattering. Its like wearing a robe- but classier. My life is very hectic at the moment so it really is the little things that make things seem easier. Ahhh, I almost feel like I’m wrapped up in a soft little blanket right now. I’ll take a pic when I’m not wearing it and show you guys my favorite dress. :-)))
Why is my fine young self wearing a housedress? Because its the most comfortable thing i own and from faraway it looks like a regular dress. I know that I am rather young to be sporting a housedress but this thing is a cool housedress. Its black, knee length, tighter on top them flares out. I know what you’re thinking- is she going out for cocktails? . .I guess I could be if the dress were not made of terrycloth. You know, like a towel. Yes, it’s cute, and made of a towel! So even if you are not totally dry after you’ve toweled off you have a dress, made of a towel, to help you out. And its black- so it more flattering. Its like wearing a robe- but classier. My life is very hectic at the moment so it really is the little things that make things seem easier. Ahhh, I almost feel like I’m wrapped up in a soft little blanket right now. I’ll take a pic when I’m not wearing it and show you guys my favorite dress. :-)))
Monday, June 16, 2008
Me Talk Pretty
I notice a growing phenomenon among the young adult population and frankly its irritating me. My cousin has coined the term “teentards” for the teenage generation out there and I find it rather appropriate. I ride the rain everyday with these little buggers and everyday without a shadow of a doubt I want to turn around and face them and yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!”
These kids don’t know how to talk. To adults or each other. They use way too much slang and don’t realize the importance of learning English. I am not talking about how you speak amongst your friends because even as adults we speak a different form of English with one another, but luckily all of my friends know when its time to kick back and when its time to put on our professional hat.
Learn how to speak. Learn how to shut it on and off. Young people think that’s its cool to speak the same way to everyone. I have news for them; in this place we call USA a command of the English language is needed to move ahead. I love my culture and my people and respect and admire other cultures but we must all face the reality that is the American Culture. In order to move ahead we must have a strong grasp of Standard English.
I have studied and worked with children for several years, the majority of them being bilingual. There is such a fear that the child will lose their culture and language because they are immersed in English all day long at school. Let me ease your minds. . .that will not happen. If a YOUNG child is spoken to in exclusively Spanish at home and exclusively English in another they will learn both languages. The way the brain is set up it is able to distinguish language in contextual situations. Even by age 3 a child is able to turn to his mommy and speak to her in Spanish then turn to his friend and speak to him in English because he is aware of the difference. This being said parents as well as another adults in the child’s life owe it to the child to support them and encourage them to be well versed in English. It is also important to teach them why. Teach them that its okay to speak differently with their friends but when talking to adults or authority figures (in English or any other language for that matter) you must speak properly because the bottom line is if you don’t people will judge you. If you lack the language skills people will assume that you lack the cognitive skills. You cannot be a lawyer or a doctor, a writer or a teacher if you use slang, or “like” every other word.
It’s not about selling out, or keeping it real. It’s not about sounding “white.” It’s about sounding smart and who gives an eff if your friends give you a hard time about it. They’re keeping it real will keep them flipping burgers while you are getting your MBA.
These kids don’t know how to talk. To adults or each other. They use way too much slang and don’t realize the importance of learning English. I am not talking about how you speak amongst your friends because even as adults we speak a different form of English with one another, but luckily all of my friends know when its time to kick back and when its time to put on our professional hat.
Learn how to speak. Learn how to shut it on and off. Young people think that’s its cool to speak the same way to everyone. I have news for them; in this place we call USA a command of the English language is needed to move ahead. I love my culture and my people and respect and admire other cultures but we must all face the reality that is the American Culture. In order to move ahead we must have a strong grasp of Standard English.
I have studied and worked with children for several years, the majority of them being bilingual. There is such a fear that the child will lose their culture and language because they are immersed in English all day long at school. Let me ease your minds. . .that will not happen. If a YOUNG child is spoken to in exclusively Spanish at home and exclusively English in another they will learn both languages. The way the brain is set up it is able to distinguish language in contextual situations. Even by age 3 a child is able to turn to his mommy and speak to her in Spanish then turn to his friend and speak to him in English because he is aware of the difference. This being said parents as well as another adults in the child’s life owe it to the child to support them and encourage them to be well versed in English. It is also important to teach them why. Teach them that its okay to speak differently with their friends but when talking to adults or authority figures (in English or any other language for that matter) you must speak properly because the bottom line is if you don’t people will judge you. If you lack the language skills people will assume that you lack the cognitive skills. You cannot be a lawyer or a doctor, a writer or a teacher if you use slang, or “like” every other word.
It’s not about selling out, or keeping it real. It’s not about sounding “white.” It’s about sounding smart and who gives an eff if your friends give you a hard time about it. They’re keeping it real will keep them flipping burgers while you are getting your MBA.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
My effing nails
How come every single effing time I do my nails it’s a 3 hour ordeal? I have a vision. I pick out a color and design. I remove, soak, clean, cuticle, oil, lotion- the whole 9. . then paint. I am so happy when it comes out nice but nooooooooooo, Ms V multi-tasker has to fuck them up somehow! Them I have to remove the freakin polish on that one nail, all the while being ever so careful as to not mess up my other beautiful nails and start over! WTF!!! Then I have to wait for that shit to dry and then low and behold, I didn’t see that smudge on my toe! I didn’t even walk anywhere! Why me!?!?!?!? And the process continues till I’ve done, like, 5 nails over again but I am so frustrated that now I’ve done all this work and have to wait for it to all dry and part of me just wants to take a cotton ball and polish remover and take it all off!!! But it won’t! Too much work has already been put in. And I will not give in. I will be victorious!!!
I will have pretty nails!!!!!!!!
I will have pretty nails!!!!!!!!
"You can’t handle the truth!"
Everyone knows the truth. Unless you are a complete sociopath or schizophrenic, everyone is aware of the truth in any given situation. It’s a matter of trusting yourself enough to accept it. No, many people cannot handle the truth because it does not fit inside the pretty little delusional painting they have created in their minds, but ask someone on the outside what they see and they likely see another picture.
Sometimes in this life we have to do things that may not seem very comfortable for us at the time, but that is LIFE. We have the bad so we can appreciate the good. We would not know what true happiness is unless we had something crappy to compare it to and so we need to pay attention to our current state and be aware of the things, people, environments and situations around us. Life teaches you lessons. We have these lessons to teach us how to be stronger, better people. These life lessons show us how to weed out bullshit and better yet how to see that bullshit coming a mile away. But sometimes, people apparently like the aroma of bullshit.
Sometimes in this life we have to do things that may not seem very comfortable for us at the time, but that is LIFE. We have the bad so we can appreciate the good. We would not know what true happiness is unless we had something crappy to compare it to and so we need to pay attention to our current state and be aware of the things, people, environments and situations around us. Life teaches you lessons. We have these lessons to teach us how to be stronger, better people. These life lessons show us how to weed out bullshit and better yet how to see that bullshit coming a mile away. But sometimes, people apparently like the aroma of bullshit.
Keep the Change
Yes, keep the “change” because the fact of the matter is, is that people do not change. If when you met someone a certain way, they are going to stay that way. Just like if you are late all the time, or don’t call people back right away. These are all character traits that people do not change. It still blows my mind that people still believe in that crap that people change. There are very few exceptions to that rule. Like if you met someone when you were 15 and now they are 30—perhaps they’ve changed! I mean they were a child then and an adult now so it’s plausible. As for meeting someone when you’re in your 20’s and meeting them again in your early 30’s?? Sure life may have changed, jobs, significant others but habits remain the same. It’s just the way humans are. Remember this: When dealing with a habit or trait that bothers you about someone, either learn how to deal with it or move on. Whether they are your friend or lover, I’ve said it before and I will say it again, you cannot change another person. The only thing you can change is yourself so if someone irritates you to the high heavens change your situation. Deciding that you don’t want that person around you is not something to feel guilty or upset about. On the other hand you should feel proud of yourself that you chose YOU over some other person who aggravated you anyway. I don’t know about you but sanity is one of my best friends, and I wouldn’t let anyone or thing get in the way of my peace.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
A Family Affair
In response to the question as to what inspired the other poem, i have created another poem for the answer- go me!! I have written, like, 4 poems EVER in my life so again this is no Edgar allen Poe---it doesn't even rhyme, but hey it suits its purpose.
A while ago I had a friend who I treated like a sister
Until she became so needy that she wanted me like a mother
I supported her and supported her like only family does.
I had another friend who was a brother of my lover
And these two strangers crossed paths.
They hung out briefly, while in mixed company
No one thought anything of it.
But moving on. . .
She was kind of a mess and only getting worse
So like a best friend I told her to shape up---
Stop playing yourself.
She didn’t like it and I couldn’t stand it so
we divorced.
We were now separated and she pursued
Her now acquaintance and attempted
A physical encounter.
While in his company she divulged her true feelings
And kind of dogged me out.
Of course she was mad cuz I was the one who filed for divorce
And I had everything and she got nothing in the settlement
Oh well, I said, because
He is tied to my family and you have no place
In this family court.
Some time went by and we crossed paths again
But now I am not attached.
She lives her life in the same way and I do not.
I do not waste my time trying to help those who do not help themselves.
I love her. I feel sorry for her. But I am not indebted to her.
She is like a fourth cousin, twice removed.
A while ago I had a friend who I treated like a sister
Until she became so needy that she wanted me like a mother
I supported her and supported her like only family does.
I had another friend who was a brother of my lover
And these two strangers crossed paths.
They hung out briefly, while in mixed company
No one thought anything of it.
But moving on. . .
She was kind of a mess and only getting worse
So like a best friend I told her to shape up---
Stop playing yourself.
She didn’t like it and I couldn’t stand it so
we divorced.
We were now separated and she pursued
Her now acquaintance and attempted
A physical encounter.
While in his company she divulged her true feelings
And kind of dogged me out.
Of course she was mad cuz I was the one who filed for divorce
And I had everything and she got nothing in the settlement
Oh well, I said, because
He is tied to my family and you have no place
In this family court.
Some time went by and we crossed paths again
But now I am not attached.
She lives her life in the same way and I do not.
I do not waste my time trying to help those who do not help themselves.
I love her. I feel sorry for her. But I am not indebted to her.
She is like a fourth cousin, twice removed.
Keep Playing Yourself
Now keep in mind that I'm an artist. . .and I'm sensitive about my shit." -Erykah Badu
For real tho- I don't consider myself a lyrical artist at all. I am more of the visual kind but these words came to me literally years after an event that inspired them:
You saw his style you liked his swagger
said "what the fuck this shit don't matter,
If it gets back to her it'll be through him and by that time
I should be done with him."
Claim to be down for the cause
thats why you give up them draws
Of course he was down too,
Whats a nukka to do,
Especially when you throw it at him. . .
But once again you thought yourself so fly,
thought that he would give you a serious try
but you gave that shit up at warp speed,
Bitch please
Luckily I'm grown so I get over it fast.
Thought you'd use ur sex once again
as means to your own end.
I got ur message little girl
To bad that shit you do is so tired.
Its all said and done, much time has gone by
You still play those games between yourself and others
Being that "powerful" person between the covers.
I forgive you becasue u can never touch me.
Never Be Like Me
Look Like Me
or Have What I Have
You sent ur message thru a friend of mine
but all secrets come out in time
Both of you are sorry, and transparent fools
think you are unique, cuz u don't take heed to the rules
Go through men like another notch on your belt
You a player only because you be playing yourself
For real tho- I don't consider myself a lyrical artist at all. I am more of the visual kind but these words came to me literally years after an event that inspired them:
You saw his style you liked his swagger
said "what the fuck this shit don't matter,
If it gets back to her it'll be through him and by that time
I should be done with him."
Claim to be down for the cause
thats why you give up them draws
Of course he was down too,
Whats a nukka to do,
Especially when you throw it at him. . .
But once again you thought yourself so fly,
thought that he would give you a serious try
but you gave that shit up at warp speed,
Bitch please
Luckily I'm grown so I get over it fast.
Thought you'd use ur sex once again
as means to your own end.
I got ur message little girl
To bad that shit you do is so tired.
Its all said and done, much time has gone by
You still play those games between yourself and others
Being that "powerful" person between the covers.
I forgive you becasue u can never touch me.
Never Be Like Me
Look Like Me
or Have What I Have
You sent ur message thru a friend of mine
but all secrets come out in time
Both of you are sorry, and transparent fools
think you are unique, cuz u don't take heed to the rules
Go through men like another notch on your belt
You a player only because you be playing yourself
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
A New Breed
I must speak on something for a moment. I have had this discussion with several women and men in my life and lets put it on the table for discussion: Gold Digging.
Now what comes to mind when I tell you that? I am sure most people would define this as a woman who is after a man’s money. Who will use his money over hers (if she has any) and will get him for every red cent. But ladies and gentlemen there has been a revolution occurring right under our noses. While us ladies are getting degrees and climbing up the corporate ladder in addition to being fly, being moms and wives there is a new breed of man out there and it may even be someone you know. The male gold digger.
Now I do understand that in this day and age it is very possible and occurs frequently that a woman makes more than a man. But the important thing to remember here is that you are both working and contributing your fair share monetarily, to the relationship. I also understand supporting your significant other if 1) they are going to school and trying to better themselves so that when they get out they will be making more money in the end or 2) the other person is physically ill and does not have the means to contribute financially. 3) The person has recently lost their job and is in the interim pounding the pavement looking for something. Note 1 and 3 *and sometimes2, are all TEMPORARY.
Now what about this male gold digger I was telling you about. Well first of all why any real man would allow his woman to support him financially is beyond me. I always thought that a real man did whatever he had to do to provide for himself as well as his significant other. Also I hope not to offend any woman that is in this position, forgive me; I don’t want to sound like I am attacking at all. Please if I am wrong, comment and tell me why it is okay to support a man who deceives you out of his money with excuses. If a man is physically able to work, but denies it or is unwilling to work, you know what that makes him? Lazy. Selfish even. Some men say they are working on finding a job. If they were looking that hard they would have one. Some men may even ask you to invest in an idea they think will make them money. Run the other way. It’s not your job to invest in someone else’s dreams. Tell that fool to get a job or hit the bricks
The bottom line is that everyone in this day and age needs a steady income. It really doesn’t matter what you do but one thing is for sure. If a couples money ain’t right that shit is not going to work. Point blank. Love does not pay the bills so ladies if you have encountered such a man, please throw that one back into the ocean. There are many more men out there that will treat you right and not make you pay for them when you go out or worse yet them and their friends (yikes! I’ve seen that one too! Not pretty). If you got your *ish together than it shouldn’t be hard to find a man with the same attitude. Be patient and tell those gold diggin men to come back when they have something more to offer than a headache.
Now what comes to mind when I tell you that? I am sure most people would define this as a woman who is after a man’s money. Who will use his money over hers (if she has any) and will get him for every red cent. But ladies and gentlemen there has been a revolution occurring right under our noses. While us ladies are getting degrees and climbing up the corporate ladder in addition to being fly, being moms and wives there is a new breed of man out there and it may even be someone you know. The male gold digger.
Now I do understand that in this day and age it is very possible and occurs frequently that a woman makes more than a man. But the important thing to remember here is that you are both working and contributing your fair share monetarily, to the relationship. I also understand supporting your significant other if 1) they are going to school and trying to better themselves so that when they get out they will be making more money in the end or 2) the other person is physically ill and does not have the means to contribute financially. 3) The person has recently lost their job and is in the interim pounding the pavement looking for something. Note 1 and 3 *and sometimes2, are all TEMPORARY.
Now what about this male gold digger I was telling you about. Well first of all why any real man would allow his woman to support him financially is beyond me. I always thought that a real man did whatever he had to do to provide for himself as well as his significant other. Also I hope not to offend any woman that is in this position, forgive me; I don’t want to sound like I am attacking at all. Please if I am wrong, comment and tell me why it is okay to support a man who deceives you out of his money with excuses. If a man is physically able to work, but denies it or is unwilling to work, you know what that makes him? Lazy. Selfish even. Some men say they are working on finding a job. If they were looking that hard they would have one. Some men may even ask you to invest in an idea they think will make them money. Run the other way. It’s not your job to invest in someone else’s dreams. Tell that fool to get a job or hit the bricks
The bottom line is that everyone in this day and age needs a steady income. It really doesn’t matter what you do but one thing is for sure. If a couples money ain’t right that shit is not going to work. Point blank. Love does not pay the bills so ladies if you have encountered such a man, please throw that one back into the ocean. There are many more men out there that will treat you right and not make you pay for them when you go out or worse yet them and their friends (yikes! I’ve seen that one too! Not pretty). If you got your *ish together than it shouldn’t be hard to find a man with the same attitude. Be patient and tell those gold diggin men to come back when they have something more to offer than a headache.
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