Why are some people such gluttons for punishment? We are the most evolved beings on earth and we use our intelligence to delude ourselves and live in denial when facts are staring us in the face.
One key example is in relationships. Way too often people are going out with the “potential” of their significant others. “Well, he is not working now but he will eventually,” or “I know he is not very affectionate but if I voice my opinion enough he will change,” or whatever the case may be. People are invested in the potential of the relationship and the other person, instead of accepting them how they are. One thing is clear: You cannot change another person. No matter how much you nag, voice or complain. Even if you leave, cheat or cry. The person has to want to change and if your “other” has not changed yet the fact of the matter is he/she will not change. At least not for you. Plainly put, the truth of the matter is there is another catalyst besides you that will make him/her change----and even that is not guaranteed. As time passes and a person gets older the likelihood of them changing is quite slim. “Old habits die hard,” or so they say.
For people in this predicament, they might say to themselves “well what do I do? I love him/her.” Well who do you love more- yourself or the other person? Your self respect, self love and natural needs are going to be sacrificed because you love this other person, that obviously loves themselves more (as you should). When one realizes that their self-love is of the utmost importance and significance it shines through. It shines through as confidence and a person who is secure of themselves. That is what attracts a mate who will respect you and actually fulfill your needs and wants, because then the other person says “hey this person loves themselves enough to not settle, so I am not going to give them anything less than what they want and deserve.” On the contrary if you are constantly bending to another’s needs and demands you will undoubtedly lose yourself in the shuffle and end up disappointed. People can put up with bullshit for a long time in the name of love, and in the end they have wasted their time. Don’t be a sucker. Love yourself.
Speaking the truth that others so eloquently sugarcoat for you. . .
3 comments:
That's right, sista!
Human beings have this odd habit of twisting reality into what they wish it would be. I've said this before, I'm sure.
Wake up and smell the coffee. Face reality in the face. And keep it moving for goodness' sake. This life is too short to waste it on delusions.
If you don't love yourself or value your own self-worth, good luck finding someone who will. You attract what you project. So get it together and you will surely bring a good man/woman into your life eventually.
Until you realize that it's about yourself above all else, your love life will always remain in the dumps.
Well said!
i agree. you have to love yourself to even begin to love others.
i'm amazed by both posts.
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