Mommy Dearest

When you meet someone new everyone has his or her own background and own story to tell. You can meet a nice man, with a decent job and then he lays it on you- he has children. Does that deter you from seeing him further?

I know that it may seem like a bit of a touchy subject but everyone has to be honest with themselves here. I love children. I have made them my life’s work, but to become a deep, significant part of someone’s life that already has children I think that you should not take the issue lightly.

Perhaps that is why I never really pursued any man or relationship that had children. I figured I was young enough to have that option. I figured if I am 20 something and I have no kids and no baby daddy drama I expect the same lack of drama from my partner, and why would it be too much to say that I have made the decision to not get deeply involved with someone who had a child or children. Nor do I think it’s a completely selfish decision.

I do understand the age we live in and realistically there are many single parents out there who do a damn good job and should not be penalized for being single and having a child. Along the same vein I also do believe that the conscious, careful parents think about how their relationships, especially the long term ones, may affect their offspring. Its something that I would imagine he/she considers every time they get involved with someone and it is going towards that deeper direction.

If you make the decision to become close to that person you will inevitably come across the child and have some kind of relationship with them. Children do not understand until much later on that “it didn’t work out.” To sign up to date someone with children is not just to go into a relationship with them but eventually their child as well. Are you ready for such a responsibility? Are you thinking of how the child may feel about you, woman and relationships in general if you are in the picture one day, out the next? If you are entering a new family unit realize your role in that unit and the importance of the child as well. Hopefully all adults involved in a situation like that will consider the influence of the child presence in their decision-making. If not you may be bargaining for something that you are not ready for.