If I Wanted To

As I peruse the newest obsession maker, facebook, I come across an old coworkers profile. A friend of mine for a spell for sure. In case you are not familiar with the facebook process, it feels the need to update everyone on your friends list of everything you have done up to the last minute. If you took a sh@$, threw a snowball, listened to music. Everything. One of these updates includes pictures.

So she has updated her pics and posted many photos of her at the school we used to work at together. It made me miss the school slightly. It was very neat, organized and what not, but i definitely would never want to work there again. You see, they are in fact, kind of an undercover Scientology school and I am not kidding when I tell you they tried to brainwash me.

So I am looking at all the pics and all I can think to myself is "(Enter school name here) for life man!!!" These people suck you in and trust me when I tell you that they do not let go easily. I didn't' know if it's because they feel like failures inside when they can't get someone to commit or if it is because they are afraid of being exposed. At any rate it made me think of what my life would have been like had i not "defected" from the "group."

If I wanted to be POOR and get the equivalent of dirt in an envelope once a month I could have stayed there. If i wanted to work with a 104 fever and have no health insurance and no one to cover my class while i was dying, I could have stayed there. If I wanted to be berated ("slut, whore etc!") during "drills" that were designed to make me desensitized to the distractions and annoyances, so that i can "confront" anything head on, I could have stayed there.

If I wanted to be told how to dress, inside and outside of school, how and what to talk about with others in the "group," and have every conversation on the school phone listened in on, I would have stayed there.

In essence, even if i wanted to go back to the school to see the progress of the amazing students there, the innocent brilliant lives that they, in my opnion, isolate and manipulate, I couldn't because it is not a free zone for me. I am sure they have me on some kind of list as a "suppressive person" (these lists really do exist).

What is funny is that the year after I left my class's new teacher contacted me and asked me how to get the kids to stop talking about me. "Well Ms. V didn't do it that way- or Lets play the game from Ms. V's class, or lets dance instead of gym!" She asked if it was okay for me to write them a goodbye note and for them to send me one as well. I had no problem with that. That was the least I could do for them if it was hard for them to let go. Those kids will forever remain in my heart and to tell you the truth if the school administrators weren't so obsessed into turning me into one of them I would have stayed longer.

In the end I made the best decision for me, and thats all anyone can do. I miss the school grounds, the kids and the families but in truth my time in that city was up anyway.

And at least I know now why Tom Cruise is so weird.

I'm Over It

One of the things i love to do most in NYC is people watch. That's part of the reason I don't mind taking the train all the time and walking from school to school for my job. I think that there is no other place in the world like NYC and one of my favorite things i love about his place is the fashion forwardness if you will. That being said, i need to address some thing I have been noticing and trends that are in my opinion - defunct.

Uggs- The boot Uggs. The camel ones. Sooooooo over it. Wake up people, you just spent 130 on a pair of fuzzy lined boots that you can't even wear when it snows. Everyone and their mother has them and they are PLAYED OUT. Put them away. Give them away, throw them away. I don't care what you do with them really but they were not very cute when they first came out and they still aren't. They are reminiscent of camel feet, which leads people to think of camel toe, and ladies- you don't want to be associated with that!

The Faux Hawk hair bump thing- If they start making infomercials on how you can create it " fast and easy, and you get two more free if you order now!" using some plastic thing, the trend is over. First of all this hairstyle is not for everyone, lets be real. if you have a five head, or long face, its gonna be a no on the faux hawk bump. Yes I have been guilty of rocking it once or twice but it was because i was in a bind and i was growing out my blunt cut bangs. . .which by the way are on their way out too. . .Tyra wore those things to death. . .Anyway, as a general principle if everyone is doing/wearing it, it gets old fast. I am so disappointed- this is NY, where is the creativity? I am ready for something new!

Ballet flats. Over 'em. Personally they kill my feet because of the lack of support and again everyone has them. They are only good for work. There are much cuter flat shoes coming out that aren't quite "ballet" style and you best believe I am going to snatch up the pair I saw last night on my way home as soon as I get my spring/summer money together.

That's all for now!

xoxo
GG

Liar Liar

If you have to spin a story so that you don't look like an asshole, then you're a liar. If you have to embellish parts or leave them out to save face, you're a liar. If you tell one person one thing and another person a different version of that, then you're a liar.

If you have to lie about anything then there is something wrong. What is it you are not proud of? What are you holding back? The fact that other people will think of you a certain way? Well believe me that if you have a lying personality then people already know you are full of shit, especially if they have been around you enough. When you notice that people around you are listening to your crap and just nodding their head and smiling, the jig is up. You have put yourself into the place that only liars know. Its a lonely place and the only way to get out is to come clean with yourself. The only problem is that you are so used to lying to everyone, including yourself that this is now your reality. You have begun to believe the crap that you spew to everyone, so what do you do? You go and find "new" friends that don't realize you are a liar yet, but inevitably you will be found out yet perpetuating the cycle. Good luck with that.

Being honest is not always easy but take it from me, it sure feels good. To be honest with yourself and others is a way to destress the bad energy that others try and put on to you. I am not saying you have to yell in their face about what a liar they are (for instance), but you can just say "whatever. I will believe what you are saying when I see a change in your actions." That's all. Usually these people will find the newbie friends that i mentioned before but when your at that point, who cares anyway.

Sister Sister

I know that Sex and The City gets a lot of slack but there are plenty of reasons- small and big (no pun intended) to love it. I was just watching the episode where Carrie’s computer crashes and Miranda’s mom dies after a heart attack. In the hospital Miranda sister walks by and tells her not to use her cell phone. Who new that Miranda had a sister? I never realized until today. And then I thought – she has a sister but Carrie and the girls are like her REAL sisters. And then I thought- damn can women have relationships like that with each other- I mean for real?
The answer I believe is yes. Absolutely. But I don’t think you get four of those friends in your life. At least not all at one time. I have many friends but very few sisters. And they way it happens on the show- the women all knowing each other and being friends like that is definitely not the case in real life. Carrie was ready to jump on a train and be by Miranda’s side in the hospital. You are lucky if you get one friend who just has your back like that. Anyway the point is not the amount you have or if they all are friends with each other, the point is to recognize when you have sisters- and I mean real sisters. Not call you once every 6 month sisters, or call when shit is just hunky dory and then when they got man trouble they call, or we just get together for major events sisters. I mean the ones that call you just to tell you the dumb shit they saw on the street or TV. The ones that are straight up with you and don’t avoid bochinche (juicy gossip)- cuz shit, what the hell are your sisters for if you can’t TALK to them. These are people you feel 100% comfortable with and your heart would break into a million pieces if they were gone from your life. THOSE are your real people.

Not everyone can be your bestest friend in the whole world, that’s just the way life is and that’s why the sister friends are so special. All I know is I appreciate my sisters!! Now go call your best friend sister person and go gossip about something .

I Don't

Carrie said that she didn’t have the wedding gene. Is it really natural for a woman to want all those bells and whistles for their wedding day? The white dress, bridesmaids, expensive plates and centerpieces. Is all of that really necessary? Or is it possible that the majority of woman have been brainwashed into thinking this is their fairy tale day of the princess marrying her prince. And on the flip side, are there a small population of women who simply don’t believe in all of that and believe that marriage- and the ceremony that comes with it means something completely different?

When the movie happened, Carrie got carried away (no pun intended) once all of these things were presented to her. Her wedding went from 75 to 200 and her friends began to question this “no wedding gene” she once proposed she had. I do think it is easy to get carried away with all of that, if money is no object of course but there are plenty of women out there that are more than willing to fork over 10,000 plus dollars for a wedding. What is even more outrageous to me is that some bridezillas expect their wedding party to pay hundreds of dollars for a dress, take days off of work to celebrate, pay for them (and sometimes travel) for a bachelorette party, and buy the couple a gift for the wedding and no one can say shit. Isn’t the bridal party, like, your best friends??? Why would you do that to your best friends?!? Then the wedding is a party where you invite your “friends” and family, seat them strategically and they get wasted. The reason why I say “friends” is because people’s guest lists never cease to amaze me, inviting their latest BFF from work and then a hundred other people from the woodworks of back in the day that you don’t even speak to anymore. Then the people that don’t make the list are slighted and then the bride/groom get slighted when other people don’t show up or can’t travel, afford or whatever that case may be, to go to this extravaganza of a wedding.

Then the bride is waited on hand and foot because “this is her day.” Give me a damn break. If you want everyone to kiss your ass while you plan a wedding and get married then hire people to do that. Don’t make your friends pay and then have to serve you also. As you can see I am not a fan of this big show of marriage. The party is ultimately for other people, and very expensive. When I get married that last way I want to start my marriage is thousands of dollars in debt. Getting married is a very huge and very personal thing and on that day I would only want my closest family, on both sides to be there. We are marrying each other and uniting our families. I don’t believe couples have to spend thousands of dollars to show how much this means to them. I also believe that much of the planning causes disagreements, hurts friendships and is a complete distraction from the relationship. You are about to get married and instead of getting closer you just have this big stressy elephant in the room that must be addressed, “the wedding, the invitations, the place, the dress, the bridesmaids, the food, the list.” For what? How many of those attendees appreciate it?

Marriage is about you and that other person when it comes down to it. No one else. Perhaps if people put as much care and energy into their relationships as they do into a wedding more marriages would last longer and couples would be happier. Of course I am a firm believer in “to each his own,” so people can do whatever they want. All I know is that when I get married, the next day I will be on the beach and I will have a down payment on a home- not 25,000 in debt and a few toasters I don’t need.

Its Not You- Its Me

Some people are so sadly predictable. How many times have we all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results? If you find yourself in a similar situation yet again the common factor here is you, not all the other people.

Oftentimes we react to situations to that take us aback and we choose to react in a defensive manner to protect ourselves. However you must make it clear whether you are really protecting yourself or your ego. We must also decide which is more important. On the outside of course the answer is cut and dry. From the outside it easy to differentiate the two. But when you are in the situation and you are the person that feels slighted it is hard to let go of your egocentric perspective and really look at the situation at hand. If you’re lucky you may have an honest third party that can point out that you are back in your bubble and you should come outside to realize that you are yet again, victim of your own self-absorption. But then again being so self absorbed you may feel slighted, misunderstood and go right back into your bubble. Sigh, yet again perpetuating the cycle that put you there in the first place.

What I am trying to say is that when you find yourself slighted or disappointed by everyone you meet; dates, friends, strangers, the commonality of all those incidents is Y-O-U. If you want people to see your point of view (which is probably warped at this point- remember you like it better in your bubble), the only thing that can change that situation is you. Your perspective has a lot to do with how others will perceive you. If you stay locked away or snuff out any chance of real growth between you and others be aware of why you are doing that. Is it really that serious or is your ego that fragile? Something to think about if you're stuck in a bubble I guess.

This One is For the Ladies

Sometimes I am so amazed by women. We have been criticized by many for being emotional creatures that are in touch with our inner feelings and have been portrayed as weaker for expressing ourselves. I beg to differ. I feel that woman is the strongest creature out there. We are the most resilient, strong, amazing things God has probably ever created.

I look at the many women who are in and have touched my life and I admire them. Many of them have had to face some of the hardest blows life has to give, some of them purely unique to women. We carry babies, and give birth to the sometimes raise them by ourselves. If we are lucky we have other people to help us but some of us are not that fortunate. Unfortunately sometimes we carry babies and lose them. Sometimes before they come into this world and our incredible hopes are dashed or worse we give birth to them only to lose them soon after and not only are out hopes dashed but the heartbreak is immense and indescribable. But we come back. We come back because we have to. We are strong for our heartbroken family, our husbands and deal with horrible pains that hurt us forever.

We are usually the “bad guy” when it comes to raising our children- especially daughters, because we often see the world not just as it is but as it can be. We trust our instincts and our sides are often not heard because we already know that there will be resistance and as we get older we wisely pick and choose our battles.

Sometimes we are abused, sometimes we are cheated on, sometimes we are left completely alone in this world but with age we realize the importance of forgiveness and we cope with the cards life had dealt us and because we are in touch with our emotions we eventually figure ourselves out as well as others.

Women who have seen such extents of adversity are living proof that we are strong beings. There is a reason why many of these things don’t happen to men- because they can’t handle emotional stress the way we can. I happen to know some of the strongest women I will ever meet in my life and they help me realize how lucky I am and to never feel sorry for myself. I appreciate and try my best not to hate on any other lady because we are all connected. Once you strip down ego, jealousy, and any other selfish feeling we put in our way we have the capacity to support one another in a way that can’t be tested. We can have strong bond like that of a fraternity but ours is much deeper because it is based on emotion, as well as shared experiences, affection and empathy.

Big up to all my strong ladies out there. This world would be in shambles without us.