A New Breed

I must speak on something for a moment. I have had this discussion with several women and men in my life and lets put it on the table for discussion: Gold Digging.

Now what comes to mind when I tell you that? I am sure most people would define this as a woman who is after a man’s money. Who will use his money over hers (if she has any) and will get him for every red cent. But ladies and gentlemen there has been a revolution occurring right under our noses. While us ladies are getting degrees and climbing up the corporate ladder in addition to being fly, being moms and wives there is a new breed of man out there and it may even be someone you know. The male gold digger.

Now I do understand that in this day and age it is very possible and occurs frequently that a woman makes more than a man. But the important thing to remember here is that you are both working and contributing your fair share monetarily, to the relationship. I also understand supporting your significant other if 1) they are going to school and trying to better themselves so that when they get out they will be making more money in the end or 2) the other person is physically ill and does not have the means to contribute financially. 3) The person has recently lost their job and is in the interim pounding the pavement looking for something. Note 1 and 3 *and sometimes2, are all TEMPORARY.

Now what about this male gold digger I was telling you about. Well first of all why any real man would allow his woman to support him financially is beyond me. I always thought that a real man did whatever he had to do to provide for himself as well as his significant other. Also I hope not to offend any woman that is in this position, forgive me; I don’t want to sound like I am attacking at all. Please if I am wrong, comment and tell me why it is okay to support a man who deceives you out of his money with excuses. If a man is physically able to work, but denies it or is unwilling to work, you know what that makes him? Lazy. Selfish even. Some men say they are working on finding a job. If they were looking that hard they would have one. Some men may even ask you to invest in an idea they think will make them money. Run the other way. It’s not your job to invest in someone else’s dreams. Tell that fool to get a job or hit the bricks

The bottom line is that everyone in this day and age needs a steady income. It really doesn’t matter what you do but one thing is for sure. If a couples money ain’t right that shit is not going to work. Point blank. Love does not pay the bills so ladies if you have encountered such a man, please throw that one back into the ocean. There are many more men out there that will treat you right and not make you pay for them when you go out or worse yet them and their friends (yikes! I’ve seen that one too! Not pretty). If you got your *ish together than it shouldn’t be hard to find a man with the same attitude. Be patient and tell those gold diggin men to come back when they have something more to offer than a headache.

Addendum: Beauty Buzz

As an addition to my previous entry Beauty Buzz I would like to add something. As I am in the interim of haircuts right now (bangs growing out) one has to get creative with what they do with their hair. And that gets me to my philosophy about hair.

Yes it probably sounds trivial or silly to some but I for one think hair is extremely important. Especially as a woman (but I know that men love their hair too). At any rate hair is important. It is in fact your most important accessory. It befuddles me why people keep the same hairstyle for extended amounts of time. (I always want to do something new with my hair). Would you wear the same clothes or jewelry every single day? I am just saying that there is so much variety to be experienced out there, new fun things to try . . .why not go for it? This is fun experimentation. No drugs, alcohol or anything dangerous so viva el cabello!! I want to dye my hair right now!

If you dye it the wrong color- you can fix it and if you cut your hair too short- it will grow back. It’s not permanent which is another alluring thing about experimentation. Wonderful, glorious, hair! Have you loved your hair today?

Beauty Buzz

What is Beauty?

To be physically attractive is one thing but beauty is another. I see tons of beautiful people everyday. I try my best to ignore all the magazines on the shelves that house pictures of the new skinny “it” girls that are everywhere. Too look and compare yourself is just so self defeating that its pointless to me. And people cannot say that they don’t look at these pictures and compare themselves because we do. It’s a reaction that has been bred in us for a long time. And no I don’t think its natural- I think its something that has been cultivated by our “bigger and better” American culture. Its sick.. . .but it digress.

Since I like many have been raised in such a media driven culture obsessed with image I have tried to make amends with it. I cannot help but like pretty, shiny things. But on the flip side I certainly can tell the difference between cute, pretty, fly etc, and beauty.

There is a big difference between enhancing and fighting nature when it comes to beauty. It makes me almost physically ill to see all of the botox, boob jobbed, rhinoplastied prancing around claiming beauty. That is not what real beauty is.

Beauty is your essence. It is all the positive things about you working together and it emits from you. It makes that what is physically on the outside look better. When you are in the presence of real beauty, you know it.

I am not saying don’t brush your hair or do your make up. No way. I am huge fan of those things because they enhance the natural features that you have. The problem arises when we fight what nature has given us. The key is to work with what you’ve got. God gave you certain attributes and you have the power to make them work for you. Small chest. Who cares? So don’t wear halter-tops, but there is still a lot of stuff you can wear, probably more than someone with very large breasts. Got big ol’ knockers? Get some good support and show some sexy cleavage! Curly Hair? Rock that shit!!! Don’t spend hours straightening (and damaging!!) your hair when God gave you personality on your head!! Pin straight hair- well shoot, only those people can wear certain haircuts that would drive me crazy. . .

Embrace it! All I’m saying is that each and every one of us has tools and gifts that we can use to enhance ourselves and accent our natural beauty. When you enhance yourself in this way, you embrace exactly how and who you are. That is where real beauty stems from as well. In this way you will be having the inside and the outside working for you and it will show. It comes across as sexy and confident and no amount of padding or injections can give you that.

Bad Habits

Is there ever a way to break our bad habits? I am not talking about little things like nails biting, and swearing. I am talking about the types of things that affect our quality of life. Perhaps it has to do with your “tendency” to end up in the same place over and over again. When you find that you are – yet again, in a very familiar predicament, don’t you think its time to face the music? The answer to why you are in such a pickle-again- has everything to do with you. Not the Universe, God or the people you roll with.

You may be jobless, homeless, friendless, penniless. . .whatever it is if its happened more than once in your cognizant adult lifetime than I am almost positive that the problem and the solution lay within the same place- yourself.

This bad cycle sounds exhausting but there are some that go through it. It’s bizarre because people on the outside can see it but those on the inside are wondering “Damn, why don’t people just understand me?” Well get your head out of the clouds and down into reality because that is the one thing you haven’t tried out yet. Once these habitual, hardheaded people realize that the only thing you have to work with is the truth then and only than can real progress be made. Life is about two sides, ying and yang, the good and the bad. Everyone sacrifices some of themselves to get what they truly want but that sacrifice is self made by hard work.

Think about what is truly valuable to you long term. That’s how you decide what you are willing to give up. . .but in place of what you gave up is success. And success is not always made up by money. Sacrifice is a part of life. Period. And there is nothing wrong with sacrifice. It makes us strong people with character and history.

Little Miss Bossy

A dictionary definition will tell you that bossy means the following : given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering. Ha! “ordering people about” sounds British or something. It also makes me laugh. There is such a negative meaning around it.


I remember the first time I heard someone say that I was bossy- I was taken aback. I refuted it. I became defensive. . . .I also was about 11 years old. This goes to show you that I had a strong character then. Upon much reflection and into my later teen years I realized something—shit, I am bossy. I have learned to reign in this trait and refine it. I realize that being bossy isn’t the best personality trait, but being the perpetually balanced Libra that I am I do not worry about because I am also very diplomatic. To be honest I was just very vocal about my opinion and being young and naïve I just thought that everyone had strong opinions and better yet, perhaps they agreed with me.

Of course come to find out that some people don’t , but some people do. Such is the beauty of life my friends, you can choose to agree or disagree. Opinions are like assholes. . . . . everybody’s got one.


Bossy can be bad, but it can also be good. There are many women out there that are considered bossy bitches because they are ambitious and go after what they want. They may also be perceived as a bossy bitch because they know what they don’t want. What if a man were to be called bossy? I don’t think I have ever heard of it but I am sure the men are perceived as “no nonsense” and “strong” because they are in control of their world and have the guts to say and do what they want whatever the circumstances. So why is it when a woman is the one being upfront and not afraid to speak from the mind and heart that she is bad? Now she ‘s a bitch, mean, whatever adjective you choose. I beg to differ. Both men and woman are not so black and white. We are multidimensional creatures. As for me my strong will and strong feelings are shown when I feel passionate about something. This may occur under different circumstances. Whatever the case may be I am one with strong convictions and that doesn’t bother me. I am fully aware that it may bother others. . .but then maybe those people should have stronger convictions about themselves.

Life is good, indeed, but it isn’t all marshmallows and butterflies. Standing up for what you accept and what you don’t want will undoubtedly cause a difference of opinions and/or reactions but you must stand for something. Be realistic about what you want and what does not fly with you. If you are clear about what is acceptable or not acceptable in your world and why, then you will be alright. There is nothing terribly wrong with being bossy when you are expunging negativity from your world. Maybe if we all took some bossy classes then we would have more of what we want in our own lives as opposed to wishy washy bullshit that distracts you from your true goals. Sigh. . . .once again these are merely opinions. . . .and everybody, even you, has got them ; -P