Women are funny when it comes to their relationships. We work so hard at them and when another party lets us down we take it to heart. Sometimes our friends fuck up and usually if you are good friends you say something about it. But what happens when you see your friend making mistakes, screwing up their lives and living in a clouded delusional picture of their own making? What happens when they keep on fucking up over and over again? Do you say something? Or do you resign that they will learn on their own. . .do you just give up?
I was watching an interview with this gentleman Randy Pausch last night. You may have heard of him. He is a professor who is dying of terminal cancer and instead of being “depressed or morose” as he put it he chooses to enjoy the time he has left. He spoke, movingly, of his attitude towards life, family, loved ones and his students and he said some things that rings true no matter where you are in life. He said if he had three words to tell people they would be “Tell the truth.” If he has three more they would be “all the time.” Not easy, especially when dealing with the beloved around you. But those are the people that deserve the truth the most, right?
Now my daddy is a smart man and he always told me “opinions are like a$$holes, everybody’s got one.” It is true most people have something to say, but if you feel like your friends are holding something back from you, or worse yet you are avoiding a certain topic with them its probably something you need to hear. Better yet it’s probably something you already know and don’t want to confront. Your friends are your chosen family, do you really think they would set you up for failure? If there are people that care enough to say something about the state of your life don’t you think there may be a grain of truth to what’s being said?
He said that if someone you love is telling you that you are screwing up; don’t tune him or her out. This person still cares about you. Now if no one is telling you that you are screwing up anymore, and you are still doing the same things, well this is a dangerous place to be. It means that people have given up. You don’t want those around you to give up on you. It’s a lonely place to be.
I was watching an interview with this gentleman Randy Pausch last night. You may have heard of him. He is a professor who is dying of terminal cancer and instead of being “depressed or morose” as he put it he chooses to enjoy the time he has left. He spoke, movingly, of his attitude towards life, family, loved ones and his students and he said some things that rings true no matter where you are in life. He said if he had three words to tell people they would be “Tell the truth.” If he has three more they would be “all the time.” Not easy, especially when dealing with the beloved around you. But those are the people that deserve the truth the most, right?
Now my daddy is a smart man and he always told me “opinions are like a$$holes, everybody’s got one.” It is true most people have something to say, but if you feel like your friends are holding something back from you, or worse yet you are avoiding a certain topic with them its probably something you need to hear. Better yet it’s probably something you already know and don’t want to confront. Your friends are your chosen family, do you really think they would set you up for failure? If there are people that care enough to say something about the state of your life don’t you think there may be a grain of truth to what’s being said?
He said that if someone you love is telling you that you are screwing up; don’t tune him or her out. This person still cares about you. Now if no one is telling you that you are screwing up anymore, and you are still doing the same things, well this is a dangerous place to be. It means that people have given up. You don’t want those around you to give up on you. It’s a lonely place to be.
3 comments:
Hmm very interesting. That's a tough one. I think it all depends on the type of friendship and how deep into screw up mode the friend (or family member) is. And most of all it's about how the person decides to approach the situation. The worst thing anyone can do is attack of try to take on the "I know better than you" role because that will only lead the other person to get defensive.
So in the end it's all about the approach. And in order to be most helpful, it is important for one to be somewhat sensitive to the other person's situation.
I meant to say "attack OR try..."
Its rough, holding back on friends, but you start to realize who is worth telling the truth to becuz they will benefit from it, and who won't listen to u even if u tatooed it on their fricken foreheads. You start to separate the friend from the true friends becuz if one if willing to tell the truth and the other is willing to hear the truth and do something about it, then that is a friend worth saving and having.
Post a Comment